Breaking and Softening
Breaking and Softening is the twenty-fifth episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the fifth episode of season two. In this episode, Mr. Krabs travels to the local laundromat to wash his clothes. After finding out that it costs something to wash and dry the clothes, Mr. Krabs puts up a fuss. The security guards throw Mr. Krabs out and take his wallet and coins. Will Mr. Krabs be able to wash his clothes? Will he be able to get his money back? This episode is paired with Ignore-Amus. Characters *SpongeBob SquarePants *Eugene H. Krabs *Squidward Tentacles (cameo) *Manager (debut) *Miscellaneous security guards **Security guard 1 **Security guard 2 **Security guard 3 **Security guard 4 **Security guard 5 **Security guard 6 *Pearl Krabs Transcript *''begins with a medium shot of Mr. Krabs's house; the camera slowly pans in through an open window in Mr. Krabs's room; Mr. Krabs is throwing clothes into a laundry basket'' *'Mr. Krabs:' Doo doo de do-ta-de. clothes in basket You know, this isn't much different than what I do at work. *''Krabs begins to have a flashback; he is at work with a shovel, in his office'' *'Mr. Krabs:' wad of money into safe Doo doo de do-ta-de. *''ends; scene cuts back to present day'' *'MK:' Oh well. clothes into basket Doo doo de do-ta-de. clothes; Pearl walks into room; the clothes hit her in the face *'Pearl:' Eew! clothes off face Daddy! Be careful where you throw your up underwear undies. underwear Gross! *'MK:' Ah, me daughter, Pearl. clothes What brings you here? *'Pearl:' out of way of clothes I was here to remind you of the news. And...I was here to get my allowance... *'MK:' Allowance? Of course! pushing Pearl out of room I am allowing you to get out of my room if you are going to bother me for the few clams I have. *'Pearl:' Few clams? Dad, I saw your flashback. We have plenty of clams. *'MK:' sighs Argh. What do you really want, Pearl? *'Pearl:' Well, besides allowance, I came in here to see when you're leaving for the laundromat. I'm having company over and I don't want you waving your dirty clothes in my friends's face. *'MK:' Laundromat? Why go to the laundromat when you have the best laundry system that money can buy. cuts to the washer in the laundry room; the washer breaks apart and is revealed to be cardboard *'Pearl:' self No wonder the water bill is so low. aloud Well, now you have to go to the laundromat, daddy. pushing Mr. Krabs out of room with laundry basket And please make it soon. Barbra and Melissa are coming over soon and I don't want them to pass up their appetizers all because of your dirty laundry. door *'MK:' to self Doesn't she know that that's my room? walking down stairs I guess it's to the laundromat again. sighs I really have to get a real washer. *''cuts to Mr. Krabs, driving in his boat to the laundromat'' *'MK:' for radio Maybe some tunes can make this trip more exciting. on radio *'Radio:' And now back to the "Sounds of the Laundromat" radio marathon. We are continuing our sounds of listening to a washer and, coming up in one hour, a dryer. washer sound is heard And it looks like we actually have one listener! *'MK:' No! off radio *'Radio:' I guess not. *'MK:' out cord from radio Dumb radio stations nowadays. in front of laundromat Time to clean some clothes. *'Male Fish:' up to Mr. Krabs Hey, I recognize that voice. points to MK You're that guy that call my radio station dumb! *'MK:' basket of clothes Yep. That's me. *'Male Fish:' Don't you feel bad? *'MK:' laundromat door Not in the least. door That radio station was terrible. around and sees an open washer Ah. Perfect. An open washer. *'Female Fish:' Oh, no you don't! toward washer *'MK:' Oh, yes I do! toward washer as well Get away from my washer! shirts at female fish *'Female Fish:' Never! shirts and leaps toward washer Ha! No crab can defeat me! washer lid, only to see MK *'MK:' No one steals my washer. up wad of clothes at female fish *'Female Fish:' I think another laundormat is located downtown! out of laundromat No there's not! *'MK:' He he he. Gets them everytime. out of washer Now to wash some clothes. clothes into washer Well, technically now to wash. wash button; walks to waiting chair Now, I have to wait until...beeps Already? Gosh, the laundromat sure is some exercise. walking Hey. Why am I not going anywhere? down to see treadmill What is this? *'Female Fish 2:' It's the senior treatment, sir. *'MK:' off of treadmill; walks to washer Senior? What senior? out clothes from washer Whoa. No wonder the water bill is so low. The whole ocean would be sucked into here if you didn't have a timer. shirt and begins twisting it, drenching the water onto the ground I guess this part is to work on the biceps, huh? twisting *'Female Fish 2:' sighs Seniors. shirt Oh, would you give me...?! shirt into dryer Now look at the mess you've made! *'MK:' Yeah. Someone's going to have to clean that up. over to dryer Now, how do you work this thing? *'Female Fish 2:' irritated Try pressing the "on" button, sir. *'MK:' "on" button; dryer turns on Hey. What do you know? It worked. *'Female Fish 2:' into office If I could have any other job in the world... *'MK:' clothes out of dryer So dry, it's criminal. *'Robber:' offscreen Give me that! clothes *'MK:' to self A robber! laughs Good thing I still have that puddle there. is heard slipping Ha! out dry clothes Perfect. walking Now let's get out of here. by male fish Oh. Top of the...uh...afternoon to you. *'Manager:' Save it, crab. You think I didn't see what you just did. It's a good thing I don't report the police on fellow laundromat goers. *'MK:' What are you talking about? I didn't do anything thieving, so good day to you. walking, yet manager steps in front of him *'Manager:' Not yet! to washer Do you see that washer over there, crab? *'MK:' Yes, I do. *'Manager:' Look closer! *'MK:' eyes All I see is the dryer door and a couple of clothes inside. *'Manager:' A little to the left. *'MK:' left I see something like...a plaque. What is a plaque doing on a washer? *'Manager:' Read what it says. *'MK:' reading "The washers in this facility, as of April 2, now cost"...hmm. I see a dollar sign, a zero, a dot, and a two and a five. *'Manager:' Exactly! You didn't pay the twenty five cents for operating the washer or the twenty five cents for operating the dryer. *'MK:' Cents? You know what doesn't make sense? Having to pay just to waste water. Or to waste heat! up hands Why don't we just pay to have the so-called "senior service" in here? *'Manager:' We do. That's an extra fifty cents. *'MK:' More like an extra zero cents! manager out of way I'm out of here! *'Manager:' Guards! *'MK:' What guards? by two guards Oh. Those guards. by guards Hey! Put me down! *'Manager:' Not until we get the dollar you have to pay. fingers Guards, you know what to do. *''begin shaking Mr. Krabs while he is upside-down'' *'MK:' Hey. Come on. We can work this out. falls out; grabs wallet Let me just get the dollar. *'Manager:' Too late, crab. wallet We'll take this. *'MK:' Not me money! throw MK out of laundromat Money! No! sobbing on ground; stops crying I'll be back for my money! Do you hear me?! away I'll be back! *''cuts to Mr. Krabs's anchor; the scene takes place at dawn, where Mr. Krabs is already awake; the camera cuts into Mr. Krabs's bathroom, where Mr. Krabs is just entering'' *'MK:' into bathroom How am I going to get me money back? into mirror I'm a hollow shell of my former self without that money. putting on casual clothing At least I still have my clean laundry to look forward to. clothes Ah. Fresh...again with a hint of stink?! How is that possible? I had my clean clothes yesterday at the gasps laundromat! They must've taken the clothes! *'Pearl:' offscreen; runs into Mr. Krabs's room Daddy! Daddy! into bathroom I have a huge problem! *'MK:' What's yours? *'Pearl:' My clothes smell like a football player went to the workout room, played for the Fish Games, and then washed the clothes in the Tar Pits! shoulders What happened? *'MK:' They just need a little wash, Pearl. Just go use the washer and dryer downstairs. *'Pearl:' Dad! up piece of cardboard I'm holding up the dryer right now. We need an actual washer and dryer. I can't go to school smelling like this! I can't go in today. *'MK:' But Pearl... *'Pearl:' I bet nothing is going on important, because it can't be as important as getting these clothes to lose that odor! What is Melissa going to say? out of room crying *'MK:' scoffs She needs to become more like her father: tough as nails! out of scene *''cuts to the Krusty Krab'' *'SpongeBob:' out of kitchen with tray Okay. We have one Krabby Patty, one large Krabby Fries, and a Krusty Drink. *'Squidward:' at SpongeBob SpongeBob, I haven't even placed an order yet. *'SpongeBob:' Really? at tray Then what do I do with this? *'Squidward:' at tray I'd say...don't care. It's not anyone's order now, so just toss it in the trash. *''Krabs enters the scene, looking downwards in sadness; the smell begins traveling to Squidward and SpongeBob'' *'Squidward:' places hand over nose Not unless Mr. Krabs was in there first! Yuck! No one's going to want to smell this on free Tuesday. coughs *'SpongeBob:' at nose; retracts nose into body Uh, Mr. Krabs. Did you forget to shower again? *'MK:' No, SpongeBob. clothes; sighs Maybe I did. But that's besides the point. toward office The laundromat turned me down, so I have no clean clothes. *'Squidward:' with wrap around nose; nasally I'll say. *'MK:' Hey! Remember who signs your paycheck. *'Squidward:' What paycheck? *'MK:' mutters Disrespectful employees...why I never... *'Squidward:' Mr. Krabs is going to stink the joint up, and it's not even opening time! *'SpongeBob:' I'm sure Mr. Krabs will find a way to keep his odor from interfering with the customers. to door But we're getting off topic. Right now, we have customers, Squidward. door, letting in customers *'Squidward:' to self Just perfect. of customers come up to the register *'SpongeBob:' To the patty station! into kitchen *''begin holding up money as their turn comes'' *'MK:' office I smell something. sniffs And it's not just me. up It's money! Let the opening times roll on! out of office; sees money Money! running toward money; the stink of the clothes begins to head toward the customers faster *'Customer 1:' sniffs Eew! What is that horrible smell?! *'Customer 2:' I don't know, but I don't like it! *''customers begin running out of the scene'' *'MK:' Wait! Where are you going?! down I guess all of them have somewhere to be. *'Squidward:' Somewhere to be?! out arms Mr. Krabs! They all left because of the fowl odor coming from your clothes! *'MK:' Well, if they can't handle a little stink, then they haven't been on a ship, out on the mighty seas with nothing but nautical miles and the motion of the seas. eyes and stands proudly I think that they could handle just a little stink. *'Pirate 1:' sniffs Oh, gosh! *'Pirate 2:' Let's get out of here! one and two exit the Krusty Krab quickly *'MK:' Traders! sighs And they were part of the onion-sniffing team back on the crew. into kitchen *'SpongeBob:' at Mr. Krabs What brings you back here, captain? *'MK:' I need you to do me a favor, SpongeBob. *'SpongeBob:' What is it, Mr. K? *'MK:' As we all know, SpongeBob, you're cheap. *'SpongeBob:' I am? Then why are my paychecks so high? *'MK:' Oh, you think they're high, do you? Then...thinking; places arm around SpongeBob how about you build me a new washing machine and I'll dock your pay for you. *'SpongeBob:' You have yourself a deal, Mr. Krabs! inching from Mr. Krabs But...uh...you might want to wash those clothes first. *'MK:' I can see why you're so cheap now. out of scene *''cuts to Mr. Krabs's anchor; the camera cuts to the laundry room'' *'MK:' over eyes SpongeBob, you better have made me a real washing machine, or you'll never hear the end of it. *'SpongeBob:' Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. You'll love it! You can open your eyes. *'MK:' hands off now open eyes Where is it? at washing machine Wow! You really did it, boy. You've given me a washing machine! happily; grabs pile of dirty clothes I never thought I'd say this, but: I can't wait to do laundry! to open washer lid, yet fails Hey, what's going? *'SpongeBob:' You forgot to pay, sir. *'MK:' around creepingly Forgot to do what, SpongeBob? *'SpongeBob:' You forgot to pay, Mr. Krabs. to coin slot See, right here. This washing machine accepts coins or dubloons. Either one. *'MK:' angrily Let me ask you this, SpongeBob. Why would I want to pay to wash my own clothes in my own house?! *'SpongeBob:' shoulders I just thought that since you had so much money, you need somewhere to put it with so little space. *'MK:' So little space? What do you mean? *'SpongeBob:' Uh...well...it's just that...you know. With Pearl being a whale and all... *'MK:' SpongeBob out of window And stay out! window; sighs I have to pay to have my laundry done again? It's like my coins were taken all over again. up firmly I know what I must do. I need to get my coins back one way or another! *''cuts to the laundromat at night time; the camera cuts to Mr. Krabs inside of the roof of the laundromat'' *'MK:' in a black suit Almost tea time. Or...washing time. down rope I can't wait to get my clams back! down rope; looks at clams on dryer machine across the room Yes! Jackpot! toward money, only to be stopped by a trip-wire alarm; alarm sounds Ah! Oh no! What do I do?! running toward money Run for it! Ah! hang from the ceiling, grabbing Mr. Krabs and turning him around Hey! Put me down! comes up from behind Uh oh. kicks Mr. Krabs out of the laundromat *''cuts to the morning; Mr. Krabs is carrying clothes and a metal detector'' *'MK:' Here we are. to self When I put this metal detector into my clothes, the magnet on the inside will attract all of the metal, or should I say coins, it can find. again to self; walks into laundromat *'Manager:' back at MK Well, if it isn't the crab, again. What are you doing here? Do I have to kick you out again? *'MK:' head Nope. I'm here as a normal customer, sir. hand inside of clothes and presses on button on metal detector I'm here to wash a load of clothes, and have decided to actually pay at the end. *'Manager:' Well then, wash some clothes. into office *'MK:' Oh, I'll being paying at the end. Just not with my own money. on magnet Come to me, money! abundance of coins and metal begin traveling to Mr. Krabs How much do we have? We have...one, two...frightened at the pile of coins traveling towards him Maybe not the best idea. *''large pile of coins begins pushing Mr. Krabs out of the laundromat'' *'MK:' from below the coins Well, that didn't work. *'Security Guard:' You know it didn't! Mr. Krabs away from laundromat *''cuts back to the laundromat, later in the afternoon; Mr. Krabs is explaining the plan now to Pearl'' *'MK:' Are you clear of the plan, Pearl? *'Pearl:' up from phone Huh? Nope. *'MK:' sighs You sneak into the laundromat, use your water abilities to break into the safe, and sneak out with my money. *'Pearl:' Dad, it was just a dollar. *'MK:' Along with me wallet! *'Pearl:' So, two dollars. *'MK:' facepalm Just get in there! Pearl inside I'll pay you after you win. *'Pearl:' sighs Fine. tiptoeing toward office Slightly. Ever so slightly. laundromat begins shaking Slightly. *'Male Fish:' offscreen My arm! I think it's broken! Or sprained! Which ever one is more severe! *'Pearl:' And...we're here. tiptoeing; reaches toward the doorknob *'Manager:' in front of Pearl I don't think so. *'Pearl:' What?! How did you know that I was going to your office? *'Manager:' Just a lucky guess. ear And I even had earmuffs on. *'Security Guard:' outside of laundromat I'm going to have to ask you to leave the laundromat now, ma'am. *'Pearl:' Aren't you guys supposed to escort me out? *'Security Guard:' Uh...we're not available right now. out of scene *'Pearl:' exits laundromat I didn't work, dad. *'MK:' Really? sighs Let's go home, then. *'Pearl:' But where's my money? *'MK:' I can ask you the same question, Pearl. *''cuts to Mr. Krabs, at the laundromat later in the afternoon; Mr. Krabs is carrying clothes and his own detergent'' *'MK:' This is my last attempt. I really have nothing else. If this doesn't work, then nothing will. into the laundromat *'Manager:' Oh, come on. What attempt are you, well, attempting to perform now? *'MK:' I'll be glad to explain. up detergent I'm going to use this! *'Manager:' Detergent? What is it supposed to do? Make us sneeze? laughs *'MK:' Oh, it's not just any detergent. It's deter-gent. *'Manager:' The difference? *'MK:' It deters people's minds, making them forget that I'm not welcome here...and possibly a few other places, but mainly here. up powder Also, it might make you sneeze a little. powder at manager *'Manager:' Yikes! a fan blows the deter-gent back at MK *'MK:' No! hits Mr. Krabs's face; sneezes Achoo! around Well, this place seems unfamiliar. at washing machine and dryer machine Nothing unusual here. at coin slot Except for that! It's a money trap! *'Manager:' Huh? I mean...that's right! And if you don't like it, then I suggest you leave! *'MK:' I will! I will! out of laundromat; regains memory Wait a minute. back at laundromat; the manager has locked the doors for closing time Oh, just great. *''cuts to the next morning, Mr. Krabs is at the laundromat'' *'MK:' into the laundromat Wait! I am not here as a customer of as a thief. I am here simply as...a crab. *'Manager:' What do you mean? *'MK:' sobbing I just want my money back! sobbing Just please, oh, please give it to me. *'Manager:' laughs Are you hearing this guys? laughs *''rest of the employees begin laughing hysterically'' *'MK:' What? What's so funny, manager? *'Manager:' We took your money...on Free Tuesday! hysterically Obviously someone didn't look at the news. *'MK:' That's right. I didn't. I was too busy doing...laundry! laughs Talk about your irony. Does that mean...? *'Manager:' back coins and wallet Here you go, crab. *'MK:' coins and wallet Yay! My money! basket of laundry I can do my laundry now! *'Manager:' Not so fast, crab. It's Thursday now. out hand That'll be fifty cents. *''of episode'' Category:Absorbent Days Category:Absorbent Days Episodes Category:Absorbent Days Episodes: Season Two Category:Episodes Category:Templates Category:2013 Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts